Day Five: A Hooker Goes Off
Today is the day I initiate the dialog with my ex about moving to Las Vegas.
She asks "when?" in a low key way online, then comes a torrent of messages entirely opposed to the idea. I'm just asking for a number -how many days till North can begin attending an after school program, replacing my after school time with him.
I get no such answer till the end of the day. What I get are many messages shaming me for the Vegas idea. I even get the quaint and timeless epithet of "you suck".
All the while this torrent of online textual hostility is coming in a hooker goes into melt down. She can't talk in a manner anyone can understand anyway -a speech pattern that is rocket fast and mushed up- and in her current throes of contentious screaming and sobbing the speech is made remarkably worse.
I'm getting pummeled by female anger on two fronts, in two mediums. At least the hooker is aiming her bile and anger at everyone, online the anger is only meant for me.
Eventually God's Little Acre's commander in chief locks the doors on Ms Hookers Gone Wild.
I get to North's apartment and once we are in, we discover his mom is in her bedroom with the door closed. It's all very odd and potentially tense. I let the bad energy just dissipate and focus on North and I having a good time.
That night I begin to realize the giant monster that had loomed over me. I realized why the director had said she wanted to get me out of this situation as soon as possible.
This was not sustainable, no matter what my attitude and disposition was. Eventually someone was going to succeed in stealing my most important stuff, and my ID. I would then swirl in a nose dive of troubles and difficulties. Let's say into that phase of troubles I finally just said f***ck it and drank a bunch of beer with the hardcore guys of the shelter, what kind of foolishness would I get in then? I what if in those modes of foolishness I tried one the harder drugs they use or contracted a disease from any number of ways while interacting with them?
I would then most likely be well on my way to a street mental case unable ever to fully climb back out.
I needed out of this....and soon.
She asks "when?" in a low key way online, then comes a torrent of messages entirely opposed to the idea. I'm just asking for a number -how many days till North can begin attending an after school program, replacing my after school time with him.
I get no such answer till the end of the day. What I get are many messages shaming me for the Vegas idea. I even get the quaint and timeless epithet of "you suck".
All the while this torrent of online textual hostility is coming in a hooker goes into melt down. She can't talk in a manner anyone can understand anyway -a speech pattern that is rocket fast and mushed up- and in her current throes of contentious screaming and sobbing the speech is made remarkably worse.
I'm getting pummeled by female anger on two fronts, in two mediums. At least the hooker is aiming her bile and anger at everyone, online the anger is only meant for me.
Eventually God's Little Acre's commander in chief locks the doors on Ms Hookers Gone Wild.
I get to North's apartment and once we are in, we discover his mom is in her bedroom with the door closed. It's all very odd and potentially tense. I let the bad energy just dissipate and focus on North and I having a good time.
That night I begin to realize the giant monster that had loomed over me. I realized why the director had said she wanted to get me out of this situation as soon as possible.
This was not sustainable, no matter what my attitude and disposition was. Eventually someone was going to succeed in stealing my most important stuff, and my ID. I would then swirl in a nose dive of troubles and difficulties. Let's say into that phase of troubles I finally just said f***ck it and drank a bunch of beer with the hardcore guys of the shelter, what kind of foolishness would I get in then? I what if in those modes of foolishness I tried one the harder drugs they use or contracted a disease from any number of ways while interacting with them?
I would then most likely be well on my way to a street mental case unable ever to fully climb back out.
I needed out of this....and soon.
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